We've all had our triumphs, setbacks, and full-out defeats. Some days we revel in victory, and others we march the heavy plod of the hopeless, directionless wanderer. Up and down our feelings go, for some folks more and others less, emotions flowing this way and that. Perhaps you know the feeling, or experience it so mildly that its motion hardly registers.
A common theme on this blog is that while triumphs are sweet, setbacks and failures are the painful roads on which many of life's great fruits are achieved. The way is not easy, but time and again history has shown the critical role failure has played in the development of people whose example reveal how far a person can actually come in this life. When you read the biographies of eminent (and not so eminent) historical figures, it becomes plain that none of them knew exactly where their lives would lead, or what things they would ultimately go on to achieve and do. Their dreams as youngsters often changed, and many suffered persecution, ridicule, and personal setback throughout their lives. Consider, Henry Clay (1777-1852) ran for President of the United States three times, and lost every time. Yet in 1957 a special Senate committee selected him as one of the five greatest Senators in US history (source). The French essayist (and inventor of the "essay" as we know it) Michel de Montaigne (1533-1592) spent his early professional career as an obscure lawyer in Bordeaux, retiring at the age of 38 to "spend what little remains of his life, now more than half run out." Yet it was during this stage of his life that he wrote the "Essays" for which he is most famous, traveled for years across Europe, and served two successful terms as the governor of Bordeaux. He also happened to have the ear of the new new king, Henry IV. Talk about a busy retirement.
The point is, even the most discussed figures in human history have had about as much an idea of where their lives would go as everyone else. They strove and toiled and sifted through the same kinds of uncertainty and everyday misadventures which visit the vast majority of everyone who steps out their door. Speaking of which, while the tale is fiction, it was not until Bilbo Baggins stepped out his door and entered the messy world of Middle-Earth-beyond-the-Shire that he became the jolly, elvish-speaking, song writer so many have come to love. Yet there were many moments on his adventure when everything could have ended. But Bilbo made it through, and looking back he seems to have managed even to have a laugh at all the silly situations which at the time probably seemed quite serious, perhaps even deadly.
Which brings us to a piece of advice I heard the other day; namely, that when assessing a problem you're having test it with the statement "in five years time, will any of this actually matter?" Just that. Are the problems you feel today so serious that five years from now they will continue to have significant bearing on your life? If they do, then perhaps the stress and turmoil you feel has merit, because without some resolution or change in approach the problem isn't going away quickly. On the other hand, if the issue is one that in five years won't matter in the least, then is it really worth the aggravation and concern you currently feel? That can be both an easy and difficult question to answer, because after all, it requires a capacity to imagine how you might think five years from now. Given the uncertainty we've been discussing, it's no surprise this is sometimes very difficult. How can we know? And what if we judge unwisely?
These are questions I can't answer. But I suspect that if we bear the central question stated above in mind-- that in five years time, will any of this actually matter?--then perhaps our sense of what is important and less important can become evermore refined to the particulars of each success, setback, and failure we experience. With time, perhaps we can hone our judgment to see with clearer eyes those things which in the long run tend to help our situation, and what either hinders or detracts from it those more wholesome thoughts, feelings, and experiences that leave us happy five years from now. We can't know with certainty, but we might get better with a little honest reflection.
So what do you think? In five years time, will all the nonsense, frustration, and negative feelings in your life today matter a lick? Something to consider maybe.
Happy Sunday, friends :)
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